Ten Commandments

Ten Commandments of Personal Finance

1. Max out tax-deferred accounts every year.

2. Roth IRAs, not traditional IRAs.

3. No mutual funds, except perhaps in IRAs.

4. Don't buy individual stocks unless you "live and breathe" investing.

5. Do not purchase term insurance.

6. ETFs, not mutual funds.

7. Minimize number of financial institutions.

8. Download apps for three credit agencies and lock all accounts.

9. Two-factor authentication on all electronic (web) financial accounts.

10. Pay for professional tax preparation.

Lessons Learned
Posted: October 29, 2024
My age when posted: 73 years old.

99% of life is showing up.

• seriously, this may be the most important lesson learned: 99% of life is showing up
• generally speaking, it's better to arrive fashionably late, than not show up at all
• if late, apologize to your host; explain why (even if it requires a bit of hyperbole, but don't lie)

Be wired to say "yes"; be wired to be "positive" --

• "yes" is your default position
• but if "yes" is not your "real" answer, qualify it later in the same conversation; preferably in the immediate response
• under-promise; over-deliver 
• be eager to volunteer but know for what you are volunteering
  

Speaking / promising:

• learn to speak in the passive voice and third person
• always start with a "positive" response, even if it's nothing more than "thank you for asking"
• just because a question is asked, it doesn't mean you have to answer, but you have to respond
• answer the question you want to answer, not the question that was asked

No one likes to be around a "negative" person.

During your coming-of-age years: understand the difference --

• platonic love vs romantic love
• sexual / physical relationships; don't mis-read / mis-lead your "partner."
  

It goes without saying:

• no smoking (no smoking)
• no illicit drugs
• no licit drugs unless an absolute must
• no discussing licit drug use with others
• no discussing personal medical issue with others -- except those with a need to know
• "no" alcohol (note: "no" in quotes; willing to discuss)
  

It goes without saying:

• don't carry weapons
• take self-defense courses sooner than later (jiu-jitsu not tae kwan do)

It goes without saying:

• maintain impeccable personal hygiene
• beware
• women may not like men's cologne
• as a male, I would err on side of no cologne until I learn / know more
  
• women's perfume: I have no clue what the current protocol is
  
• dress your best -- that does not mean suit/tie or evening dress -- consider the setting
  
• if unable to process this advice, watch a few movies from the 1940s and 1950s, such as the Thin Man series
• when in public, assume someone is always watching you (you are on television 24/7 outside your apartment / dorm / house)
  

It goes without saying:

• conversation in almost any setting: politics and religion are non-starters; high risk
• better to listen than talk -- but don't be flower on the wall -- participate

Interactions:

• it's all about others;
• everyone likes to hear their name
• read a book on how to remember names -- and use the techniques.
  
• it's not about you.

Over-riding goal in life: leave the world better than you found it.

• if God allows you only goal, this is it: leave the world better than you found it.

Learn the social graces.

• eating / meals:
• for fuel vs for social interaction -- don't confuse the two
• in private, most of your meals: for fuel; manage weight
  
• with one other (or more): social, business, not fuel
• social, business meal: duration as long as your guest(s) want it to last (read / know your guest)
  
• be among the last to finish your meal; do not be first to finish
• but don't continue to eat after others have finished
  
• don't give list of things you don't eat; "go with the flow" but control the situation
• seating: learn where to sit in social / business situation; 
• know who will be there before you arrive
  
• read the room when you arrive
  
• there is no such thing as a "social event" with your boss; 
• every "social event" with your boss is a job / promotion interview -- trust me on this one
  
• have at least three topics of interest for small -- but meaningful -- talk in mind
• write them down on 3 x 5 note card if that will help
  
• tattoos last forever (generally speaking)
• a well-placed / well-drawn tattoo on WWII sailor -- a must
• for everyone else: no.
  

Dinner, you're the host:

• with regard to food and drink, glasses and beverages are the most important
• individual glasses at place settings is obvious, but set out additional glasses, cups, mugs
• stay on top of guests' beverages; always be ready to refill -- at least with water -- when glass is emptied;
• if guest drinking water, don't ask if they would like another glass when their glass is empty, automatically refill the glass
• have snacks ready available in case there is any delay in dinner being servce
  

Do not cause others to ping.

• don't worry your parents; don't worry your partner;
• solve your own problems; but help your partner solve his/her problems.
  
• keep your parents in the loop -- but not in real-time.

Exercise.

• at least
• ten minutes every hour
• one hour every day
• develop a routine: treadmill, biking, swimming, walking, relaxed running
  
• all things being equal:
• best exercise: biking
• second best: swimming (but takes more time)
• third best: walking (treadmill or in the "wild")
  

Don't sell yourself short; set high goals. 

• keep track of where you came from, where you are, and where you're headed

Time:

• Don't waste a minute. 
• Certainly don't waste a summer.
• Definitely don't waste a year.

Time: learn to manage time. Easier said than done.

Stay in touch -- don't burn bridges. 

You can never send too many thank you notes.

Document and date everything. Keep electronic copies instead of physical copies whenever possible.

• you can never scan too much
• minimize physical files; maintain hard copies of only the original documents you will really need
• almost all financial papers can be scanned, saved electronically

Keep journals. Handwriting beats typing.

• journal first, handwriting, on the fly;
• blogging: best way to keep dates, contacts, but doesn't replace hand-written journals.

Keep contact list.

Keep correspondence, original and / or copies, sent / received.

Cherish your friendships.

Never quit reading.

Take calculated risks.

See the world.

• if the military is not in your future, spend one summer abroad, no matter what it costs
• but do it on your own (or with a friend): youth hostels; lots of walking; two meals a day; one beer a day for the calories and a good night's sleep
• do not go from college to graduate school without a summer abroad first
  

The military experience is under-rated and often poorly marketed.

• high school seniors with no idea what to do: one could do worse than enlist, or
• go to college with goal of :
• officer's training school, USAF -- preferred option for most;
  
• Marine Corps Officer Candidates School -- best option for the few, the proud, 
  

Take lessons / classes in strategic planning.  

In school:

• write it down
• look it up
• do it now
• stay away from folks with a negative attitude